Archive for the F Category

Freak Out

Posted in F with tags , , , , on March 18, 2008 by jharoldson13

James says:

This is one diamond in the rough of a movie, people. I think it was made in New Zealand or something, because everyone has a funny accent. The movie is basically about these two guys who meet anfreak-out.jpg effeminate escaped mental patient, who they then try to groom into the perfect killing machine for their own amusement! What makes it extra hilarious is that the killer is also a vegetarian who is forever crying “Meat is murder!” Irony, thy name is this movie. Funny things happen because the killer (known as “The Loony”) is gay and scared of violence because he’s the pussiest killer in the history cinema, but that’s what makes it great. Every once in awhile he goes on these ridiculous murderampages, at a party the two friends throw, then again at the grocery store. The dozens of corpses are viewed with nothing more than distaste, adding to the ridiculous sense of unreality.

Don’t go into this movie expecting a serious psychological study of what makes a man into a monster, or even a horror flick. You will be disappointed. Instead, if you want a refreshing (albeit 10 year old) parody of the slasher genre, then this is the movie for you. Culminating in one of the most absurd muder set-pieces I’ve ever seen wherein a leaf blower is used to launch a giant meat log in an attempt to stop The Loony, this movie is so over the top and ridiculous that it’s impossible not to love it. If you’re into things that are funny and don’t mind the hilariously-low budget, give this movie a try or fuck you.

Grade: 80

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Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Posted in F with tags , , , , on February 13, 2008 by theroboticdan

Dan says:

Going into this movie without any knowledge of the cast or production style was crazy. My first thoughts were wild and scattered, muchlv2.jpg like the characters themselves. It was as if I was watching a film projected in that crazy tunnel Willy Wonka keeps in his Chocolate Factory. Trippy and deranged, the narrator “Duke” is probably best related to Artie: The Strongest Man in the World. His delivery feels like the most insane and twitchy perspective you’ve ever encountered. That plus driving through the desert to Las Vegas, and I felt like I was watching a drugged out episode of Pete and Pete… that one where they race that family through Nevada to win the license plate “KING OF ROAD”.

But enough about Pete and Pete, back to these guys who store drugs like fireworks. Are you familiar with the New Yorker firework package? Its a little bit of everything thats glorious about lighting stuff on fire, bottle rockets, fountains, cakes… these guys have the drug equivalent of that. From the basics like weed, coke and acid to unfamiliar territory like ether and mescaline.
You don’t get to spend much time thinking about their magic box of crazy, because within the first 10 minutes Tobey Maguire shows up with long blond hippy hair. As if this thing couldn’t get any trippier. It has to be the second worst haircut he’s ever had in a film.

I read the first chapter of the Hunter S. Thompson novel this was was based on, and the movie may even go beyond the druggy vibe that the book has. We can thank director Terry Gillam for this, most famous for his trippy animations and effects in all of those Monty Python movies. He may be the best person who could have ever taken on the job of this film, the effects hold up amazingly ten years later. Considering that films like “The Mask” came out at the same time, you can really see that this is art over entertainment.

Ok, so its 20 minutes into the movie and I realize that Johnny Depp is playing Duke. I look it up quick on the net and I’m still not sure it is him. Its incredible. He is absolutely transformed. Balding, with a cracked out Elvis drawl. If you fancy yourself some Depp, do not miss this flick for the world. He somehow plays a character thats drunker than Captain Jack Sparrow, while at the same time high on coke.

Since the movie is half mumbles and slurred half finished sentences, I would usually recommend subtitles. However, no amount of subtitles are going to make the dialouge here make a lick of sense to you. So screw subtitles, just take drugs instead. The camera moves like you’ve just had six shots of tequila through scenes with Verne Troyer (pre-Mini Me), Cristina Ricci (can you say Sleepy Hollow reunion?), and early 70’s war propaganda.

Its an hour in and I have a new title for this film: Must Love Drugs. los-vegas.jpg

Notice I haven’t really talked about the plot yet? Well there isn’t really any. Its about two guys who go to Vegas, take as many drugs has humanly possible, then trash their hotel room three times worse than any rock star ever could have. Their destruction is a work of art.

I deem this movie the best Anti-Drug movie of all time. If they showed this to me in 6th grade, instead of subjecting me to D.A.R.E. and a cartoon lion, then I would have been terrified of drugs. The lows they sink to, the sickness they feel, its all portrayed on screen to a horrifying perfection. You almost get a headache from their nausea, and thats a good thing.

Overall, the effects are amazing, the acting is incredible, the plot is rightfully incoherent, and the post 60’s drug craze message is clear. Its not really epic or satisfying in the end, but I certainly didn’t loathe Loathing, I loved Loathing.

Grade: 92

The Faculty

Posted in F with tags , , , , , on February 10, 2008 by jharoldson13

James says:

To the best of my knowledge, this movie has possibly the most unlikely kill in any movie EVER. But before I get into that, here’s the setup.faculty.jpg Aliens start taking over some school in Texas, I think, starting with THE FACULTY (get it?) and then moving on to the popular kids and the athletes. The only people who stay human enough to fight back are a drug dealer (heartthrob Josh Hartnett) and some other people who are basically there to get killed by monsters. It turns out that Josh Hartnett’s drugs are the alien’s weakness, so he needs to cook up a nice big batch of whatever to kill all the evil aliens, hilarity ensues.

Most importantly, Jon Stewart plays their…biology teacher? Something like that. Regardless, he plays a teacher and is one of the first to get taken over by the alien parasite monster who then attacks Josh Hartnett. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE because that messy-haired little devil KILLS THE HOST OF THE DAILY SHOW WITH A PAPER CUTTER. HOLY SHIT. Then way later they discover the identity of the evil alien queen and have to use drugs to beat her. The moral of the movie: Jon Stewart is trying to kill you, and drugs solve all problems, especially when they’re intergalactic in nature. Except for the death of Jon Stewart, this movie is nothing special. In fact, it kind of sucks.

Grade: 67