A Charlie Brown Christmas

Schuyler says:

This will be brief. A Charlie Brown Christmas is about 28 minutes long. I think it’s only fair that I charlie_brown_christmasspend 1/3 of the time reviewing what is essentially only 1/3 of a movie. Whatever, you’re not paying me.

As cute and traditional as Charlie Brown movies have become…at EVERY holiday, I find that the only good part about them is the fact that they are traditional…Charlie Brown is on, must be approaching a holiday. It’s almost like a media alarm clock. When you’re struggling to finish Christmas shopping (even though there’s still turkey digesting in your stomach), a “Charlie-Brown-jon” alarm clock [10 pts if you guess “Kill Bill: Volume 1”] can freak you out.

Aside from the context, the movies/shows/specials are actually pretty lame. The mood throughout is bland, melancholy, and pretty much the opposite of happy. Charlie Brown will complain about his apparent lack of endorphines, and Lucy will explain that its because his face sucks. Then Charlie Brown will attempt to do his best Boston College Football fieldgoal impression, ending up square on his ass.

When I see holiday films, particularly Christmas, I wanna see Rankin-Bass, I wanna hear happy charlie-brown-treesongs, I’ll even appreciate non-funny Tim Allen jokes. I just don’t want 50-year-old Emo cartoons telling me why Christmas sucks. We’re all coping with the tough parts of Christmas, Brown. Wait until you have to decide whether to go to your family’s for Christmas or your girlfriend’s family’s place. Wait until you have $1000 Christmas shopping bills. Wait until you get laid off in December, during prime expense season. Wait until you have to deal with Black Friday foot traffic just to find the items you need to buy for others before they disappear.

You have NO RESPONSIBILITIES! SHUT OFF! Oh, and someone needs to murder Snoopy. That dog is a piece of crap.

Grade: 66


2 Responses to “A Charlie Brown Christmas”

  1. Wow. Well, everyone’s got an opinion, no matter how skewed it is.
    Peanuts is part of my life, and changed it in a positive way. The problem with the animated Peanuts specials is that the punchline of the four panel strip doesn’t translate well into a tv show. WHich means, you’re missing the humor of Peanuts if you didn’t actually read it. It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was probably the only other Peanuts TV special that worked well. The other specials just didn’t have any sort of impact remotely like actually reading the strips.

    Saying someone should murder Snoopy is bizarre and just plain hateful. What, you weren’t hugged enough as a kid or something?

    I do agree with wanting the lightness and happy feelings from Christmas specials, but again you’re missing the point with A Charlie Brown Christmas. It was the only one who actually talked about Christmas from it’s biblical origins, and not just about presents under a tree. It made CBS execs nervous at the time, but apparently people didn’t freak out over it, since it has stood the test of time so well. Hooray for the hope of people’s beliefs coexisting. Having lost family to the lack of coexisting belief systems, I appreciate that very much. I think there’s room for kids to listen to Linus reminding people what Christmas is really about, and animated snowmen too.

    You don’t have to like A Charlie Brown Christmas, or even Snoopy. But the fact you don’t like it is your perception, and not a “fault” of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

    Merry Christmas!

  2. People like you are the reason I’m going to murder Snoopy.

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