The Faculty

James says:

To the best of my knowledge, this movie has possibly the most unlikely kill in any movie EVER. But before I get into that, here’s the setup.faculty.jpg Aliens start taking over some school in Texas, I think, starting with THE FACULTY (get it?) and then moving on to the popular kids and the athletes. The only people who stay human enough to fight back are a drug dealer (heartthrob Josh Hartnett) and some other people who are basically there to get killed by monsters. It turns out that Josh Hartnett’s drugs are the alien’s weakness, so he needs to cook up a nice big batch of whatever to kill all the evil aliens, hilarity ensues.

Most importantly, Jon Stewart plays their…biology teacher? Something like that. Regardless, he plays a teacher and is one of the first to get taken over by the alien parasite monster who then attacks Josh Hartnett. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE because that messy-haired little devil KILLS THE HOST OF THE DAILY SHOW WITH A PAPER CUTTER. HOLY SHIT. Then way later they discover the identity of the evil alien queen and have to use drugs to beat her. The moral of the movie: Jon Stewart is trying to kill you, and drugs solve all problems, especially when they’re intergalactic in nature. Except for the death of Jon Stewart, this movie is nothing special. In fact, it kind of sucks.

Grade: 67

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