I am Legend

Schuyler says:

I will spare you plot, because you should see this movie.

But I will tell you what you should know:
I am Legend is a Butterface. Great body, but fugly face.legend.gif
This is one of Will Smith’s stronger performances (only counting the ones where he doesn’t get to say “Welcome to Erf!”), and throughout the whole movie, you are on the edge of your seat because the action/suspense is palpable. But like all Butterfaces, when you’re done soaking in the body (of the film), the face (ending) makes you want to vomit. Fellow reviewer James and I had an AIM conversation to that extent:

James(3:25:50 PM): i thoroughly enjoyed that movie
Schuyler(3:26:06 PM): it will get a decent, albeit not great review from me for one specific reason
James(3:26:17 PM): you hate black people?
Schuyler(3:26:21 PM): that
Schuyler(3:26:21 PM): and
Schuyler(3:26:27 PM): the ending was fucking awful
Schuyler(3:26:32 PM): whole of the movie was spectacular
James(3:26:38 PM): yeah i didnt really like the ending either
Schuyler(3:26:39 PM): the ending was having sex with a girl all night
Schuyler(3:26:41 PM): only to find out
Schuyler(3:26:45 PM): shes a post op gay guy in the morning
James(3:26:46 PM): shes really a boy
Schuyler(3:26:48 PM): lol
James(3:28:48 PM): and shes all like OOO LETS GO OUT AND YOU CAN GIVE ME A HAND JOB
In what is comparable to the US upsetting the Russian hockey team in 1980, James and I are in agreement.
When Will Smith “loses” his dog, it was 10x sadder than Tom Hanks losing Wilson in Castaway. Mostly because you spend most of that film staring at Tom Hanks and his turkey-gullet.
Good job Fresh Prince, but don’t let your writers give up when they get tired at the end of the script-writing process.
Grade: 79

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