Monster Squad

James says: monster-squad.jpg

Holy shit. A movie about a bunch of 80’s kids fighting the Universal Monsters (Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, and the Gill Man) with the help of a heart-warmingly horrifying German man and Van Helsing’s journal. In my opinion, this is the best “kids on a supernatural adventure” movie ever made that didn’t feature either of the Corey’s. The story is basically irrelevant; something about an ancient, magical crystal that Dracula needs to destroy in order to upset the balance of good and evil, casting the world into darkness for a thousand years or something. The local Monster Squad, consisting of a couple nerds, a fat kid, one of the nerds’ little sister, and the middle school badass, realizes they need to step up and kick evil square in the nads for the good of mankind. They try to enlist the help of their parents and the local authorities, but of course in the 80’s, parents were too busy going to coke parties and Wham! concerts to be concerned with the supernatural terrors of growing up.

This movie has it all. Hot vampires school girls, babes in their underwear, Wolfman getting kicked in the nuts, and an army corps. that responds to requests for help with monsters written in crayon. For a really long time, the only way for me to watch this was to wander down the insanely-dangerous corridors of my memory. But luckily, enough nerds remembered how much ass this film kicked and wrote enough reference-laden letters that someone finally decided to release it on DVD. Now you can pick it up at any good Best Buy, and I recommend doing so. This movie is a great one to watch with some buddies, and I’m sure you can make some sort of drinking game to go along with it. It’s not without its faults, of course: the special effects are a bit dated, there are some huge leaps in logic, and I can’t find the little kid’s Robotech t-shirt in my size, so it’s not a perfect movie. But it’s a really damn good one.

Grade: 89

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