Reviewmen — Who’s reviewing the Reviewmen!?

The world will look up and shout “Save us!”… And I’ll whisper “…fine.”



Hopefully newb saibot Cameron Horn is as good at reviews as he is at begging for attention. Being the God of anger and smiting, I have demoted everyone who hasn’t written in a long time to the “guest reviews and lazy people section” of our archives. Maybe if you weren’t such teabags, you’d still be a featured reviewer. Also, it apparently helps to be my girlfriend.

Welcome to COTT, where we review oodles and oodles of movies. Many of you, when searching for the latest review of Cloverfield, will turn to sites such as Rotten Tomatoes for general opinions. COTT is for those who want pointed, specific opinions. Do you want something more than “I liked this film!”, “Great explosions!”, or “It made me cry.”?

Also, we acknowledge that one man’s junk is another man’s treasure, so reviews will feature counterpoints whenever available…hence Clash of the Titans.

The latest movies aren’t always the best to review, so we will scatter old favorites and obscurities throughout in-theatre reviews.

This site looks like it will be consistently updated, so check back every few seconds for a new review. Check out our All-time Scoreboard to just see our grades and rankings, click on a letter (in the drop-down menu in the upper-right-hand corner) to begin browsing, or just simply search for whatever it is that you’re looking for (but be forewarned, I ain’t got no candy for you damn kids).

Looking forward to your patronage,

The COTT Team

[E-mail us at if you’re interested in reviewing any films you’d like]


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All reviews are the intellectual property of the authors and of COTT

{Thanks to lauriecbwm for her Watchmen GIF}

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